// i’ve never been in love
// you’ve never been in love?
// well i don’t think so. i don’t know. i mean, i want to be in love. i think i’m trying to be.
i told her, as i was setting up to play a song for her — instead of the usual, cynical lines like “i don’t believe in love,” or “ it doens’t exist. love is a choice,” or any of the other rather pseudo philosophical things i’d say.
— i don’t know why i didn’t say those to her. maybe i wanted to be in love with her. or maybe i just didn’t want to hear the same words coming out of my mouth again. or perhaps it was the whiskey in my stomach.
do i actually believe in love then? i don’t know that either. she had asked me earlier that night whether i felt my astrological sign adequately represented who i was. how “gemini” of me, this was — i thought. or is this even a “gemini” thing to do? i don’t know.
my friend once told me, “i don’t really believe in astrology, but you’re the most gemini person i’ve ever met.” i think that means that you do believe astrology though, yeah?
i finished setting up and played a song for her. i couldn’t tell whether it wooed her. i went and kissed her, and then we made love, sweating atop one another, then fell asleep on each other’s bodies.